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Reg Hedge
Head of Horticulture
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 5852
Location: Pruning the roses
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 Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
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| DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST wrote: |
WILL CYPRAIN LET REG DIE?? |
I bloody hope not.
_________________
Neatest trimmed bush in Foxwood.
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DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:24 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
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| Reg Hedge wrote: |
| DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST wrote: |
WILL CYPRAIN LET REG DIE?? |
I bloody hope not.
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Doh!
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
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DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
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| Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:11 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
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PART 30
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: The Good Lord guides me
Date: Sat, 29 Nov 2003 00:46:41 +0000 (GMT)
Thanks for your mail.
If you do not believe in my word and in the contact I gave you, how then can you believe with picture. Well, as you requested from me just do the same to me. So I am expecting your picture with your handwritting that you will help me and my sister to be readable.
Cyprain. |
| Quote: |
Buttocks Cyprain.
What kind of question is this?
"If you do not believe in my word and in the contact I gave you, how then
can you believe with picture?"
But on 15th November you said this:- "I beg you in the name of the lord, we are worried at least to see the face of the person that is helping us. Therefore, send your picture to us."
So it is OK for you to expect me to send you my photo, yet I ask you for
this small gesture and you get all arsey with me? I thought we were
friends?
I do want to believe you. You MUST understand that my request is GOD's word not mine. I prayed very hard since I recieved this message from you and asked for the Good Lord's guidance.
This is what he told me:-
"Reg, you have never met Cyprain or Martha, you don't know them, you don't know what they look like - you don't even have an address for them. This man called Barry Parker has sent you a warning about them, and you are right to be careful. I already told you that Cyprain must make a gesture to show he is trustworthy - if he refuses to do this, then you know that he is a criminal. Reg - you must NOT send the picture first. It must be Cyprain who acts first, but of course if he does this, then you must reply immediately with the gesture he asks of you, and also send the money to the Security Company straight away. But it is the integrity of Cyprain and Martha which has been called into question Reg - not you. THEY are the ones who must prove their honesty - they already know you are a good man. Oh, and another thing. If Cyprain doesn't send his photo, you must kill yourself in a spectacularly futile display of angst."
I am so sorry to ask this of you Cyprain, but I will not disobey the good Lord. I will follow his instructions, and I know you are a God-loving man too so I know you will understand.
You must send me the photograpgh immediately. As soon as I recieve it I will send you the photo you ask from me, and I will pay the money at Western Union to release the consignment, and get you out of the refugee camp, and will all be very happy.
If you don't, I WILL kill myself - please don't think I am just saying this, it is the word of the Lord and I WILL carry it out.
- Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
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DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
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| Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:03 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
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PART 31
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: The Good Lord guides me
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:13:20 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
BUTTOCKS.
Thank you for your good mail. I wonder the kind of God you worship that ask you to know me through picture. Are you sure you are worshiping the living God? The bible says woe to the man that worship man made object or any thing that is not of living God.
When we contacted you, we thought that you are willing to help us, we do not know that you just want to have our information and made away. There is no problem, the truth shall come out. There reason I ask you to send me your picture first as you asked is that I do not know you, you sent two pictures to me as yourself, then how can I know the real one. Therefore, first send your picture with your hand writing that you will help Cyprain and Martha so that I will be sure that you are the one. Alternatively, send your international passport to me. You told me that your passport will be ok before two weeks and by now we are heading month.
Upon the reciept of the above information from you, I will send my picture to you both my international passport.
Cyprain. |
My angry reply......
| Quote: |
BUTTOCKS
I am f***ing angry.
How DARE you tell me that the Lord I worship isn't the living God? I spend the whole f***ing weekend with the Mormon Church on God's business, and I spend more time each day praying than you will have done in a week you c**t.
Then you accuse me of stealing your information. You haven't given me any information!! but I trusted you - you know so much more about me than I do about you - you have my address, photo, everything. You brought this Barry Parker man into our relationship, not me and he is the one who has cast doubt over YOUR trustworthiness - not mine matey.
And will you stop wittering on about my cocking passport? I told you it was away on the 12th of November, that is just over 2 weeks ago (not a month at all) . I said I expected it would take "about" 2 weeks - I rang the passport office last week, they've been very busy because of Christmas approaching, and I should wait a few more days OK? How many more f***ing times - as soon as I get it, I will send a copy OK?
Listen up. I am guided by the Lord God, I take my f***ing instructions
from him, not you - have you got that? Are you listening? God TOLD you to send the photo to me FIRST. You send it tomorrow OK??
The other thing is that you KNOW that I am going to kill myself if you
don't. Do you want me to die? How will you feel if I am dead and it's all
because YOU wouldn't send me a gesture to prove you honesty?
Send it.
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
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DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
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| Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:08 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
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PART 32
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge <reg_hedge@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: What???? !!!!!!
Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 10:22:07 +0000 (GMT)
Thank you for your wonderful mail.
Be informed that I have given you the security documents which you
requested from me. Also be aware that this money is coming to you. I did not ask you to send your money to me, it was security company that asked you to send them money for the shipment of the consignment and I told you if you can arrange and go by yourself for the claim, it is good but if you could not go, then give them the requested fees, although I promised to balance you any expenses you might encounter in respect of this transaction.
For the issue of photo, I can only identify you through your international
passport because you have already faked me. I don't even have 100% trust on you.
My lord told me to be careful and to avoid chameleon.
Therefore, if you are ready and willing to do this transaction with me, then go ahead with sincerity and honest. Stop running up and down. But if
you are not ready and willing, then tell me let me know in time what to do.
BUTTOCKS.
Cyprain. |
| Quote: |
Buttocks
This is to be my final communication on the subject of your photograph.
This conversation is going around in circles. You have insulted me, and now you say you don't trust me and that I am a Karma Chameleon.
Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dreams, red gold and green, red gold and greee-ee-ee-en. Every day is like survival, you're my lover not my rival.
This is all outrageous because you were perfectly happy to trust me before you brought Barry Parker into our lives.
God has demanded that you send the photo, not me - I can only obey God's will, and I shall.
I will shortly be going to prepare for a weekend of God's work with the Mormon Church; we are planning a trip to Chapeltown, where we will shout abuse at prostitutes as they solicit business the dirty filthy whores (although I do have a cheeky thirty quid in my back pocket, just in case the Elder isn't looking). I will therefore not be able to check my emails until Monday morning.
By then, one of three things will have happened:-
1) You will have sent me the photograph; I will visit Western Union, and
you will be free.
2) You will promise to send the photograph, and we only have to wait a
couple of days
3) You will not have sent the photograph. If this is the case, you will
never hear from me again, because I shall kill myself 'neath the wheels of a fast moving passenger train as I have already outlined.
So... what choice will you make Cyprain? Here's Our Graham with a little reminder
"Cyprain, will you choose number one, a fruity little number which gets everything done in a jiffy? or number two, who'd like to seduce you, but doesn't want to take things TOO quickly? Or will it be number three which will scatter bits of Reg across a wide area, and leaves you feeling like a murdering motherfucking bad b*****d?"
The choice....is YOURS.
Until Monday.
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
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DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
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| Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 5:52 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
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FINAL PART
Reg Sez: Reg Hedge dies!!!! I'm getting a bit bored of this TBH. I've decided to add the death twist to the plot....
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: What???? !!!!!!
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 16:56:03 +0000 (GMT)
Sir,
Thank you for your good mail. There is something I want us to do. Tell me when you will be online so that we will chat on monday in MSN messenger or YAHOO messenger. I think this day will determin whether we will continue this transaction or not.
Waiting to hear from you.
Buttocks.
Cyprain. |
Reg Sez: I didn't reply, and then this morning I sent this....
| Quote: |
REG HEDGE IS DEAD
Cyprain
My heart feels so heavy.
I gave you several chances to save my life - but now you've gone and thrown it all away. Mamma - oooooh didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not here this time tomorrow carry on, carry on - nothing really matters.
You also had the chance to save your own souls and you chose to stay where you are.
Once I finish writing this email, I will switch off my computer, tidy the
house and eat a nice meal of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Zinger burger, or
maybe a Tower.
Then I will drive to a place I know where the fast railway line to London
runs by. I will step out in front of a speeding train, and will be killed
instantly. I hope you feel f***ing guilty Cyprain - you and Martha could
have prevented this.
This is God's will. To be honest I still don't know myself if you are
genuine friends or criminals, but God has told me I must die. In a few
days, my lawyer will contact you because I have left some money in my will to you and Martha.
Goodbye forever,
Reg. |
THE END
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
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