Letter to the Management.....

[Willincity]

Mr Penis' Complaint
Dear management,
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labour
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I don't get paid overtime
7. I work in a dark, restricted workplace that has poor ventilation
8. I work in high temperatures
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Best Regards,
Mr Penis

Dear Penis,
After assessing you request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3. You do not always follow orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in you allocated position, and often visit other areas
5. You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
8. You'll retire well before reaching 65
9. You're unable to work double shifts
10. You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
11. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management
_________________
Just read about the evils of drinking and though it's about time I gave up this bloody reading.