The Journey from Hell!

By David Barton

The Saturday morning started like any other weekend would preparing for an away game, the same pre-journey ritual; check pocket as frequently as possible to make sure you haven’t lost the all important train tickets, feeling that the beer/larger is chilled to perfection, bartering with half a sleep father for a lift to the station, checking that you have enough money and of course praying for a City win.

On my way from home to the station all was going according to plan and everything was rolling along nicely, I was even confident of an improved City performance after the shocking football of late.

At the station and amongst the crowds of weekend travellers I met up with my travelling partner for this particular away game, young Rob Amos (yorkcity4eva). He and I exchanged the usual pleasantries and boarded our train expectant of a good day out following York City.

The journey to King’s Cross in itself proved eventful to say the least, spending most of the time drinking copious amounts of John Smith’s Extra Smooth I had brought to while away the two hour train ride and getting the usual disapproving glares from other passengers. Then about 5 minutes in I spotted a Carlisle United shirt two seats down, I waited patiently for him to look up so I could make eye contact and mutter out “Who ‘av yer got today”. He looked at me as if I was speaking in a different language, eventually he came over and stood in the empty seats behind us and struck up a conversation. It was then to my shock that I realised that he was a Yank!! Could Carlisle really have that bigger pulling power??

After much questioning I gathered that he was an American ballet dancer that was travelling with his marital and dancing partner from a concert they had performed in Edinburgh, he explained the shirt was a present from his partners family who were United fans. Amongst the questions about why he came to be on this particular train were the usual and necessary anti-American comments from me; Name an American sport that is not just a modified version of games originating from England?? (which of course he couldn’t do) and what does England have that the US will never have?? (history and culture). Apart from being from the US he was an alright guy and after a few more cans his wife was beginning to look rather tasty.

The two and a bit hours went very quickly and we arrived at King’s Cross in good spirits and well watered. Upon departing the train we said goodbye to our American acquaintance and his suitcase full of spandex and met up with the third member of our party; Richard Newbould (Richard). After paying to have a piss and filling up on our depleted alcohol stocks we started on the unenviable task of travelling on the busy London underground. By this point Richard who has been exiled in Hitchin/Newcastle declared he would be our guide as he knew his way around, I gratefully obliged and we were on our way.

It was not until getting ready to get on a train heading towards London Bridge that our problems started when Richard said “Sh*t!! Are we at Dagenham I thought we were going to Gravesend!!” both me and Rob looked in disbelief at our ill informed guide, however he assured us that it didn’t really matter as we could still go this way.

Just before our train got into London Bridge’s platform me and Rob polished off the ninth and tenth can, got off the train and headed towards the information board. It was at the top of the stairs that Rob Amos (yorkcity4eva) calmly said “I have left my bag on the train”, I quickly told him to get it and he ran down the steps and onto the train to retrieve his missing bag. After a minute waiting for Rob to come back it become obvious to me and Richard that he had got stuck on the train and was now heading to East Croydon!!!

We went to a help station on the platform to inform them of our situation and ask for some advice, as I wasn’t fluent in Cockney, southern born Richard did the translating and the station attendant made a public announcement at East Croydon for Rob to come back to London Bridge. As instructed we waited at the relevant platform for Rob’s return. After the first train didn’t contain our missing person we went to the attendant again and he made a general announcement to all stations for Rob to come back to LB. The second train again proved fruitless and our hopes of getting to the game on time dwindled by the minute, being responsible we decided not to go to the game with out him and to find the 15 year old beer fuelled youngster. While waiting at the platform for the third train we said that it was obvious he wasn’t listening to the announcements and were racking our brains to try and find alternative methods to directly contact him.

After much deliberation we decided to give the absent Laurence a ring on the off chance that he may have Rob’s number, when Richard finally got through to his mobile we got, on the second time of asking, Rob’s number. Apparently Laurence had received a call off Rob asking for Richard’s number and was shocked to find out he had not contacted us.

After listing our worst case scenarios, Richard tried in vain to phone Rob, only getting his voicemail. We then decided to make an important and decisive decision and split up, Richard going to East Croydon to try and find Rob whilst I stayed in London Bridge in case Rob came back. It was at close to 2 a clock, just before Richard boarded the train to EC, when he got a call of the missing Rob. Rob explained he was not near East Croydon and was instead about 35 minutes away from the ground travelling to the game with the aid of a Dagenham fan. We couldn’t believe it, this ranked amongst one of the worst case scenarios ‘Rob going to the match while we waited for him at London Bridge’.

Now in a hurry and expectant of missing a good proportion of the match we set off on our way to the ground. However our journey to the game wasn’t going to be that simple as we encountered yet more problems.

Getting into Bank station we attempted to get on our next tube to the ground when we realised that the gates heading in our direction was blocked and upon closer inspection we found out that the track was being repaired. After back tracking and finally getting back on our way to see City we made it into Dagenham East at about 25 past 3. It was when we began walking to the ground when Richard got a text message from Rob saying “1-0 to City”, we thought f***ing great we missed City’s first away goals of the season and a goal that meant we were winning!! About 5-10 minutes later we got to the away entrance after asking a few people hanging around the ground for directions only to find the turnstiles were locked!! We shouted to a steward through the iron gates how to get in, he said “Go to gate 3, it is at the other end of the stadium”. We yet again back tracked, got in and had to walk all the way through two of the home fans stands, finally reaching the away section. When we went under the tape before the gate leading to our section the home fans realised that we were York and started giving us grief.

There we were 35 minute late, missing the first City goal and completely knackered from the boiling hot tube trains of the London underground, but the rest of the game was awesome.

Thankfully the journey back didn’t throw up any major problems.

And that ends one of the most eventful City trips in ages, role on Crawley!!

Rob Amos (yorkcity4eva) replies....

The first 7 paragraphs are correct until I get lost then the story kind of goes against me somewhat! Yes I did leave my bag on the train and then couldn't get off it. I got down to East Croydon and got the first train back to London Bridge about one minute later. Mouse and Richard presumed that the ONLY platforms I could have come back on were 4 or 5. But I did not get a Thameslink train back and arrived at Platform 8 where I could not find them. I searched the station for a bit. Asking for a tannoy announcement was an idea that I had never thought of! Not finding them there, I made my way towards the tube stop where there was a big sign saying "LINES FROM BANK ARE CLOSED", I asked a platform attendant the quickest way to Dagenham, so I took the Jubilee line to West Ham when FINALLY I got hold of Laurence on his mobile and got Richards phone number where I managed to get in touch only to find they were waiting at London Bridge still. They must have missed the sign saying the line at Bank was closed and went totally the wrong way. As for the Dagenham fan I only met him for the last 2 tube stops for my whole journey. I got to the ground at 2.59 just in time for kick-off and then received a few death threats from Mouse and Richard when the came in.