| Author |
Topic: EXCLUSIVE!!.....BONO THE PEACEMAKER!! |
DALEY MAYALLoftheYE PEST
First Team Player
Posts: 109
From:YORK
Registered: Mar 2002
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 posted 28-05-2002 20:05    
I can exclusively reveal that U2's lead singer Bono has offered to act as a peace envoy in the ongoing saga involving Roy Keane and the Irish F.A. World Cup Party in Japan. His ELEVATION as a respected figure in World peace initiatives persuaded Irish PM Bertie Bassett to enlist his help when a stalemate was reached in discussions between the two parties. BB stated:"It's been far from a BEAUTIFUL DAY today. I rang my good friend Bono to help us out. I don't want this dragging on UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD Cup."
Keane steadfastly refused to apologise for his outburst last night in an interview on Irish TV, but admitted:"I still have a burning DESIRE to play in the World Cup. I get an enormous sense of PRIDE(in the name of love) when I lead the side out. I know I have my MYSTERIOUS WAYS, but I was in the right. It's the SWEETEST THING, to be sure, to lead your side out and WALK ON to the pitch. As things stand at the moment, I have people who want to HOLD ME, THRILL ME, KISS ME and even KILL ME, so I do." At the moment, he is currently walking his dog WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME, out IN GOD'S COUNTRY.
Back in Japan, Irish manager Mick McCarthy admitted today:"I haven't even had ONE phone call from Roy offering an apology. When you are STUCK IN A MOMENT YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF, you would have thought he'd have backed down and shown some remorse over the incident!!" When quizzed as to how things were progressing on the training pitch without Keane, he replied:"I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR, which is a balanced team for our first game. Maybe I will hit on the right formation IN A LITTLE WHILE."
Niall Quinn and Steve Staunton revealed further details as to what had exactly occurred in the dressing room bust-up between McCarthy & Keane. Quinn told me:"THE UNFORGETTABLE FIRE-Y, obscene and scathing attack from Keaney was SO CRUEL on Mick." Staunton added:"I WILL FOLLOW Roy in captaining the side, but will behave in a more responsible manner. His tantrum was a dis-GRACE!"
Bono hopes he can act as a go-between over the phone with a positive outcome. He said:"I'm travelling all over the world at the mo. THE FLY-ing, is making me jet-lagged. I've hardly had THE GROUND BENEATH MY FEET! I'm currently in my studio, mixing a DISCOTHEQUE version of STARING AT THE (Rising) SUN for the official Irish team WC record. I'm stuck here 'til SUNDAY, BLOODY SUNDAY, so that is why I will be negotiating via the phone. But if I can resolve the whole sorry mess, I'd be delighted, so I would."
So will you be TRYIN' TO THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND THE WORLD Cup, I asked McCarthy? He looked directly into a TV camera beside me and announced:"WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, Roy, we are determined to lift the World Cup!" I thanked him for his thoughts and wished him all the best. "U2!, me old cock", McCarthy replied in his thick Yorksh-Irish brogue. 
READ THE LATEST ON THIS FURTHER DEVELOPMENT IN THE YE PEST TOMORROW!!
DALEY MAYALL - Sports Ed of the 'YE PEST'
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Conrad_Huddersfield_Red
First Team Player
Posts: 127
From:Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, formerly Harrogate
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 28-05-2002 20:48
Nice one Daley, you've really got THE EDGE over any other reporter!!!
Still not sure if Keane is EVEN BETTER THAN THE REAL THING!!!
But the Irish still seem to be saying ALL I WANT IS YOU to Keano!!!
[This message has been edited by Conrad_Huddersfield_Red (edited 28-05-2002).]
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Paul Barron
First Team Player
Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Apr 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 00:03
thats exactly what i think when its a sunday, sunday bloody sunday!
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LondonVillage Red
First Team Player
Posts: 259
From:A small village just south of Harrogate.
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 00:40
What a great song.Perfectly captures the boredom of a Sunday-washing the car,mowing the lawn,Songs of Praise-Sunday Bloody Sunday eh?
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DeeUU
Assistant Manager
Posts: 976
From:Wollongong, NSW, Australia
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 00:52
Is this where I cry about being stuck in VAN DIEMEN'S LAND? and tell you that THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME
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Paul Barron
First Team Player
Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Apr 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 00:57
But how do you find your way round or give directions? I'd get naming them streets!
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miniminster
Youth Trainee
Posts:
From:
Registered:
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posted 29-05-2002 06:49
It would leave Parry Barker with nowt to talk about Al(hedge)ily on Chips FM 
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DALEY MAYALLoftheYE PEST
First Team Player
Posts: 109
From:YORK
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 17:34
I did my best to fit 'em all in Conrad!!! 
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Dynamo Kebab
First Team Player
Posts: 378
From:Across river from N. Yorks
Registered: Apr 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 17:41
Think you succeeded as well, Daley. How long did it take you to put that lot together? 
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DALEY MAYALLoftheYE PEST
First Team Player
Posts: 109
From:YORK
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 29-05-2002 19:06
Nearly 2hrs, Mr.Kebab!!
I should get a life really, shouldn't I?
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