| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
 Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:32 pm Post subject: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
 |
|
...have been hidden from the masses signed up to Red and Blue....... UNTIL NOW!!
With Reg's kind permission, I will be posting his classic p*ss-take responses (made from late 2003 onwards) to an unsolicited e-mail he received requesting help to obtain monies locked away in a safety deposit box. These will be posted every 1 or 2 days as there is much to read and digest, so do revisit this thread - it is recommended!! 
We've all received these dodgy e-mail's at one time or another - but have any of us really found the time to be able to enter into correspondence with them and wind them up? Reg Hedge wanted a bit of fun at their expense - so he did!!
So that things are much easier to follow, the scammer's e-mails will be posted in RED. REG's replies will be posted in BLUE. A third party (Reg posing as someone else called Barry Parker) who enters the fray soon enough to offer his services to retrieve the money, will be posted in GREEN.
If you wish to respond to the ongoing saga that unfolds in this locked thread, then please do so in the separate thread which will be posted by DEEUU in the next couple of days.......
THIS THREAD IS NOT TO BE MISSED - ENJOY!!
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:52 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 1
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Thanks for your response.
Date: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 16:16:32 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
Many thanks for your prompt reply to our proposal, I am very happy when I received this your mail, thanks for your care, concern
and your coperation. I know we are taking a risk by dealing with some body unknown to us face to face, however, in our present situation in this refugee camp and for the sake of keeping the transaction secret which is very important for us due to our statues, we do not have any choice than to put our fate in the human trust for each other. Sometimes in business, you can not help but to trust and hope for positive outcome.
Let me brief you more, I am the son of Gen.Robert Guei of Cote D'ivoire,
the former military president who was killed last year during coup pliot in my country. My name is Cyprain and my sister is Martha.
After the death incident of my father, my aged mother called me and my
sister and informed us to run away from our country for
our dear lives to Senegal where we can stay for a safety and she told us
about the deposit my father made in a security company, she gave us all the documents concern the deposit in the security company and she told us to go and look for a foreigner who will assist us to receive the fund consignment from the security company.
Now what I need from you is to stand for us as our foreign partner, to help us receive the consignment from the security company. My father made this deposit as family treasure. As it was contained in my proposal to you that I and my sister is now under United Nation seeking asylum as refugee in senegal here and due to our statues as refugee we are not allowed to participate in local and international monitary activities, for this
reason, we then solicit for your assistance so that you will be in
orefront for the claim of the consignment.
Therefore, as you are willing to help us for this our problem, I need the
following information from you:-
1, I need your full contact address for our documentation.
2, I need your telephone number for easy communication.
3, I need your photo page picture of your international passport so that we will know you as our foreign partner.
4, Tell us more about yourself and your wide business knowledge investment.
Upon the receipt of the required information from you, I will immediately
give you the contact of the security company so that you will contact them on my behalf for the claim of the consignment. We mapped out 15% of the total fund for you as for your compensation for helping us.
Note also that immediately you confirm the receipt of the deposit in your
place, I and my sister will then arrange for our travel to come and meet
with you. On our arrival to your country, you will help us to get resident
permitt as we do not have intension to come back to Africa for next ten
years and you will also help my sister to get admission so that she will
continue her education while I will go ahead for a business ventures nder
your guidiance/counselling.
Thank you once more and may our good lord use you to rescue our life. For more prove and evidence for our problem, I include to you the website where
you can see all that happened to our family.
http://allafrica.com/stories/200209200598.html
>
http://allafrica.com/stories/200209200001.html
>
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2269238.stm
>
Regards,
Cyprain & Martha Guei |
| Quote: |
From: "Reg Hedge"
Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2003 10:42 AM
Subject: Re: Thanks for your response.
Cyprain,
I have read the websites you sent the links for. This is terrible news, you
must be very upset? I feel very angry that in 2003 we still have these kind of things happening in God's beautiful world.
I'm sure you must feel very vulnerable, and having to put your trust in
someone you don't know is dangerous for you? I hope you will feel you can trust me; I do a lot of voluntary work over here with charities, and worship regularly at the Mormon Chrurch in my home town. I hope you can explain a couple of my queries please?
Your email account is "Ngozika Osita" - is that a friend or something? I was also wondering how you can use the internet at the refugee camp - Do they give you all a workstation with a laptop, mobile and expense account? I need to discuss the financial details more with you - a 15% share for me of $12m is more than I need - this is YOUR family money, and it is not right for me to take so much for doing so little in return. I would be happy to accept $600,000 which is 5% - will this be OK? I am lucky because I already have a substantial wealth, and the money is not so important for me these days.
I hope you will understand my next question, and I will explain why I need to ask......
Will I need to pay out any money before we receive the fund consignment from the security company? Some time ago, I got involved in a similar business deal with some guys in Nigeria, and we were trying to release a large sum of Nigerian Government money into the Uk, because it was held with a security company in Lagos. The authorities in Nigeria are bad men, and demanded me to pay $28,000 to release the money across Nigerian customs clearance. Just before we got the money, I heard from the lawyer of my Nigerian business partner, who
explained that he had been shot dead just before he went across to the
security company. I don't know how or why he was killed, but I lost my
money, and some Nigerian ba****ds stole all the money thet we were expecting to get, and I couldn't get my $28,000 back.
I am glad to hear you are in Senegal, Cyprain, because Nigeria is very
corrupt, and there are lots of bad fu**ers in Lagos who will cheat to steal
your money. You must be VERY careful - PLEASE don't consider letting your money go anywhere near Nigeria. So you understand why I do not want to pay any money out before we get our consignment? I hope you understand Cyprain, and I feel sure this is safe because Senegal is much better country than Nigeria for business I think.
My passport expired, so I have sent it to the office to be renewed - I
expect to get my new passport in 2 weeks, so I will send you a copy then.
Please let me know more details? In God's love to yourself and your family,
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:59 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 2
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
>To: Reg Hedge
>Subject: Re: Thanks .
>Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2003 14:47:04 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
Thanks for your good mail. Please I would love to answer your question orally, I mean by the phone.
Kindly give me your direct telephone number so that I will call you
immediately or you can reach us on 00****389905.
Thank you in advance for your good courragement.
Waiting for your telephone number.
Cyprain & Martha. |
| Quote: |
From: "Reg Hedge"
To: ngozika osita
Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2003 4:16 PM
Subject: Re: Thanks .
Dear Cyprain.
I spent many years working in research into the causes of serious illnesses, before taking early retirement to concentrate on charity work and the Mormon Church. One of the things I found was a definate link between telephone handsets and Brain Cancer. For this reason, I never, never use telephones, and I recommend you do the same. I am happy to set up our business arrangement by email, which I feel happy is secure.
Grateful if you would please answer the questions by email to reassure me of your good intentions?
Thanks, Reg
PS - In the Mormon faith we believe it is God's will for a man to take
several wives to reproduce the human race. Would Martha be interested in marrying me do you think? I can offer a very good life for her. |
| Quote: |
From: "Reg Hedge"
To: ngozika osita
Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2003 4:18 PM
Subject: Re: Thanks .
Sorry - I forgot to add...
PLEASE reassure me that none of the money will go through Nigeria, or that I will need to travel to Nigeria myself. Its full of bad fu**ers.
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
Last edited by DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST on Tue Sep 05, 2006 12:15 am; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 12:14 am Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 3
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: Thanks Date: Thu, 13 Nov 2003 00:18:24 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
Nice hearing from you again today, this has shown me how care, honest and sincerity you are. Let me assure you that this transaction will bring
family and business relationship between us. Thank you for sympathising
with us. Being a volunteers to people in need, we pray that our good lord will reward you all your goodness and bless you abundantly. Keep on helping, you will never lack.
Regards to my email account, I just want to disguise my identity, no member from our kindred knows where our about and we want to maintain the secrecy till we move out of this place entirely. For the use of Internet, there is no Internet in the refuge camp, with the help of a friend a son of a staff here, I use to escort him out and at the same time I will do some certain things.
The reason I offered you the 15% of the total fund is for you to know my seriousness because I really want to go out of this place, we are jobless
here and helpless, we are sustaining here by the special grace of the lord.
But as you want to take only 5% of the total fund, I do not know what to
say but my prayer is that the lord will surprise you with his blessing, you
will never lack in your life and your children will never lack, thank you
once more and remain blessed.
There is no money to pay in the security company as of today , therefore
feel free and help us. My father paid $8,400 to the security company, you
can as well confirm with the security company.
I gave you 100% assurance that there is no way this money will go to
Nigeria, Why should the money go to Nigeria? Do you have account over
there? I contacted you so that the money will come to you. I have not been there. I do not know any body there, therefore I do not have any business over there.
Since your passport is not available you can send to us your photo picture
just to know you. Then send the contact address and other required
information. I hope with the above explanation you will be satisfied. For the issue of marriage, I believe every thing will be when we come over to your place we will then discuss it face to face, it not something we will rush now and we need to pray over it to know the will of the lord.
Waiting for your immediate response.
Remain blessed,
Cyprain and Martha. |
| Quote: |
From: Reg Hedge
To: ngozika osita
Sent: Thursday, November 13, 2003 10:16 AM
Subject: Good to hear from you again
Hi
Understand completely about the email address. In fact security does concern me slightly too - maybe we should agree to put a code word into every email we send to verify it is genuine? How about "buttocks"? I will read every email I recieve and check it contains "buttocks". If it doesn't I will know that it has been intercepted by your enemies and ignore.
I feel very pleased that there is no money to be paid before we recieve our consignment. Your father was clearly an intelligent man who planned for his family - you must feel very proud of his memory. I now feel we can progress with this deal much happier.
Sorry to keep mentioning Nigeria. The reason for this is my bad experience I mentioned in my last message - Nigeria is full of bad fu**ers, like I said before. I am delighted we don't need to deal with any of those dirty homosexuals and dog fu**ers. Hope you don't feel upset with me mentioning it again. Maybe when I come to Senegal we can drink some beers and laugh at Nigeria?
Ok - here is my contact address:-
Mr Reginald Arbuthnot Walwyn Hedge
Dean Court Arena
Kings Park
Bournemouth
Dorset
United Kingdom
BH7 7AF
Like I said before, I do not have a telephone installed, and never use them because they are DANGEROUS. If you use telephones yourselves, I really recommend you should stop. I am happy to continue to use email for our transaction.
I would like to say I was delighted to hear Martha that you might consider
marriage to me. You sound so beautiful and caring. As you suggested I
have prayed to the good lord for guidance, and he tells me that Martha and Reg must be united as one very soon. Maybe I should book the Church for our wedding? Perhaps we can conclude our business in the next few weeks and you can be my wife before the end of this year? I would certainly like to smack your BUTTOCKS (security code - understand?)
Ok guys - what next? Do I need to travel to Senegal to complete the transactions? Will we all travel back to the UK together?
Please let me know as I am becoming aroused. Your good friend and soon husband and brother.
Reggie.
PS - Very important - Don't forget BUTTOCKS. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 3:33 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 4
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: The contact of the security company.
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 00:48:31 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
I confirmed the reciept of your mail with your full information
today, I am very happy to recieved these information which will enable our easier communication for future reference. We also appreciate your
willingness and concern to assist me and my sister for this our critical situation.
Meanwhile, the next important thing you will do is to contact the security company for the claim of the consignment, without any delay, here is the contact of the security company:-
MAGNUM SECURITIES COMPANY SA.
Madrid, Spain.
PHONE: 00 34 659 238 475
FAX: 00 34 916 131 966
EMAIL:
Contact: MR TONY SMITH.
Please on your contact with the security company through the above
information, tell them that you are my representative/trustee and you request for the claim of a consignment which my late father Robert Guei deposited in their company on my behalf with the security code, CD:000127050001XX and the reference no:
MSCS011/DC/ XCO/0510/2001.
Remember to inform me all your discussion with them. Also remember
what I told you earlier that the security company did not know the real
content of the consignment because my father deposited it as family
treasure, my father did not tell them what is exactly in the consignment
due to his status as top civil servant, therefore on no account will you
let the security company to know the content of the consignment.
Thank you once more and waiting for your immediate action for the claim.
Remain bless. (BUTTOCKS)
Cyprain. |
REG to his Red & Blue friends:-
I've sent the Security Company an email with those details. Then I sent this to the delightful Martha:-
| Quote: |
Please, if this message is opened by you Cyprain, please pass to my dearest Martha for me?
How are your BUTTOCKS today?
My darling Martha.
I am now feeling very excited about our relationship. You are the most beutiful woman in the world. I know you may say I can't possibly know how you look, because I have never seen you, but the truth is I don't need to - I am talking about the beauty of the soul Martha, and I just know that you and I were meant to be together.
Last night I prayed to the good Lord for guidance. I prayed so hard Martha - I clasped my hands together so tightly that a couple of small blisters have appeared on my fingers. Well actually, they are more sore patches really, and to be honest I do like to masturbate frequently, so I guess that might have been a contributory factor. Anyway, I asked the good Lord about our relationship, and what I should do.
The sweet Lord has told me that you will be my wife, and that we must marry on Friday December 19th at 14:00. I have made a booking with the Elder at the Mormon Church, and naturally I have reserved a place at the wedding feast for your brother and my good friend Cyprain as well. After the service and reception, we shall stay a few nights at the Travellodge Hotel, where we'll consummate the marriage, and drink tea and coffee made with UHT milk from those little plastic tubs. This is a custom in my locality, and is considered the highest honour a man can bestow on his bride.
I have taken the liberty of visiting the local pharmacy to purchase some prophylactic sheaths, because I don't think you can be too careful, and at the end of the day you are African after all. I booked an appointment for you at the local STD clinic, where they can give you a good steam-clean, and once the test results come back clear, we can go "bareback" after that, Ok?
Martha - I must go now, and conclude our vital business, which will enable you to get out of that terrible palace and come to the UK to be my wife. Please write back to me to tell me you feel as excited as me. I can barely resist touching myself as I write.
Your ever loving man,
Reggie
xx |
REG to R&B:- I'll be amazed if my bizarre ramblings today don't put him off forever. Do you think I'll get a reply to any of this now?
| Quote: |
Cyprain.
My heart is soaring today as we reach our objective. For me the money is less important than the knowledge that you will have been liberated from that terrible refugee camp in Senegal.
Do they treat you badly? Can you get Channel 5 on terrestrial there, or do you have to go next door to watch the late night nudey stuff like me? I don't mind too much, as the guy next door is a canny bloke like, but he drinks that Kestrel lager, which tastes like dog's piss to me but there you go.
Anyway Cyprain, I have sent a special email to Martha - PLEASE make sure she reads it and responds to me - it concerns our proposed marriage in December. I feel I can't continue with our transaction properly untill she gives me her encouragement.
Ok - I have sent an email to the company in Madrid. I didn't realise the consignment is in Spain, but that is good news, because Uk and Spain are both European Union members, and so they can just send the consignment straight to the Uk with no formal paperwork needed - and I won't have to make a trip to Spain I think. No dirty f***ing Nigerian dogs to deal with!
Cyprain - please realise that we are now approaching the WEEKEND. In the Mormon faith it is God's will that we spend much time praying and singing happy tunes - often in the street, loudly, which irritates passers-by, but f**k them I say. If they don't want to hear the world of the Lord then he will peel off their skin and cast them into a bath of TCP for all eternity, so I'm doing them a favour if only they would realise it. Then of an evening, we will stand outside nightclubs or other drinking establishments, and pass on the message of Jesus to the charlatans and non-believers. We shout loudly at promiscuous women in their short skirts, and explain that they are nothing but dirty good-for-nothing whores, and god will do the whole TCP thing with them too unless they mend their ways. We usually get what you might call a "mixed reaction".
Anyway the point is this - because of my commitments with the church, I may not be able to get to my emails for a couple of days. So please don't think that if I don't reply to you over the next day or two that I have forgotten you and Martha, or been struck down by an Omnibus. I will reply as soon as God's work has been completed, you have my word.
Like I mentioned Cyprain, I really need to hear from Martha to give me the strength to complete our arrangement - please make sure she writes to me as soon as possible.
With the love of God, and some buttocks.
Your dear friend and brother
Reg. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 5
REG to R&B: I have now thrown a spanner in the works, and introduced "Barry Parker", by sending the following separate email in response to the original unsolicited spam:-
| Barry Parker wrote: |
Right. I have been away on business, and find this message in my inbox when I return.
I am a sharp businessman of little words and much action. Lets cut to the quick:-
Yes I will consider doing business with you. I want 35% of the fund value. The deal must be completed in 2 week's time otherwise I shall withdraw.
Please send immediately all relevant details.
Barry Parker (MInstTw)
Head of Designations
Inbreds plc. |
My plan is to string Cyprain along with Reg and Barry, and then confront him at some stage with the fact that he is shafting one/both of us. All depends of course whether he will have now decided that Reg is just a piss-taker, which is quite probable I expect.
Cyprain must be sitting by the PC just waiting for me to reply -
| Quote: |
Original message from: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: The contact of the security company.
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 12:05:50 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
Thank you for your wonderful mails, I really appreciate your effort of
contacting the security company without wasting any time, thank you one
more and may our good lord bless you. Once more I assured you that this transaction will bring family and business relationship between us.
For the mail you sent to my sister, I will inform her that you sent private
mail to her so that she will come and open it by herself.
Regards to our situation here, one thing you must noted is that we are
dennied our freedom and it effect our lives so much but I believe that one
day with this our transaction scheme everything will be over. Like I said
earlier we are suffering so much here, we are jobless and helpless in this place, we survive here with the help and mercy of the lord.
For your program this weekend, I wish you success and excellent performances.
Till you are back from your church activities.
Cyprain. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:38 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 6
REG to R&B: Weyhey - there's more! It seems Cyprain is quite prepared to "gazump" Reg in favour of Radio York's finest! Barry has recieved exactly the same initial reply that Reg got (suggesting 15%). I have decided to give Barry a very rude and arrogant attitude:-
| Barry Parker wrote: |
Right.
Cut out ALL the religious waffle. I am not a church going man, it does not
mean anything to me. God and Jesus and all that sh*t gets in the way of
BUSINESS.
And don't bother with all the story about your f***ing family getting killed
- I didn't know your father, he means nothing to me. He got shot dead -
deal with it.
All I am interested in is BUSINESS and MONEY. I deal with multi-million
dollar transactions every day of the week - the more time I spend exchanging bullcrap with you, the less time we have to get on with the business of making money. So, are we going to do this deal or not Cyprain?
I told you I wanted 35% cut. You have offered a derisory 15%. You think I am a monkey or something? There is no f***ing way I am working for less than a third. Its 35% or the deal will be OFF - do you understand?
Get back to me. If 35% is acceptable, then we can do business. Like I
said, I want this thing finished in 2 weeks time.
Can you meet my requirements?
Barry Parker (MInstTw)
Head of Designations
Inbreds plc. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:31 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 7
Reg Sez: Anyway, surprise surprise, they are starting to ask for money......
| Quote: |
From: magnum security <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
Reply-To: <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
To: "Reg Hedge"
Subject: Re: FAO MR Tony Smith CONFIDENTIAL
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 11:45:20 -0500
Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail. I confirm that we have such consignment in
our custody as at today. The $8,400 fee paid so far is for the cost of deposit and demurage charges accumulated. The cost of shipment to the address provided is 4,850 euros. please provide this fund so that the shipment can be made immediately without nany further delay.
We assure you of delivery 48hrs after reciept of fund.
Due regards
Anthony smith |
Reg Sez: Very Spanish name that.  Senor Smith at the Security company got this in reply:-
| Quote: |
Sir, thank you for your swift reply.
The shipment fee quoted of E4850 seems very high. Please can you advise the exact size and weight of the container, as I think it may be appropriate for me to arrange my own courier, or come to Madrid myself to collect. Please confirm that all other paperwork is in order and that the container is ready for immediate collection.
Please note I will be out of email contact over the weekend.
Many thanks
R.Hedge |
Reg Sez: Wonder how he'll get out of that one? To Cyprain I e-mailed the following......
| Quote: |
Thank goodness!
Cyprain, I was so worried. I thought for a while that your email account
had been hacked by dirty cheating Girraffe-f***ing Nigerian dogs. I am so delighted that it was just an error on your part - don't worry, it is easy
to forget to rub cream into your BUTTOCKS.
This evening I have been out for a short while throwing rocks at Catholics
and single-parent scum. However, I felt I had to hurry home to see if our
business is running to plan, and also to see if my beautiful wife-to-be
MARTHA has written me a letter. I wait with moist anticipation, please tell
her to write me as soon as she can, before I ejaculate. I really feel I
need to be brave with our transaction Cyprain, but the Lord is telling me
that I can only do this thing with Martha at my side.
Anyway - the guy from the Security Company sent me a message to say the consignment is ready to be dispatched! Fantastic news - we are so close to getting you out of that refugee camp where "Granada Men & Motors" on the digibox is but a distant dream.
I was a bit screwed-off when the guy said that I would have to pay nearly
five thousand Euros to ship the consignment over to the UK. You probably
have no concept of that sort of money, but suffice to say it would buy quite a lot of straw huts in your part of the world Cyprain. Anyway, the point is this - there's no way I'm paying them the money. I don't trust him
Cyprain - his name doesn't sound very Spanish to me - are you sure he's not a dirty bloody Nigerian dogfucker? But relax - I think I can fix it.
there are plenty of good courier companies in Europe; DHL should be able to get it into Southampton for far less than he's asking for, and my local
Mormon Church have a credit account with DHL, so we don't have to pay until after we get the $$$$ !!
As soon as I get the cash Cyprain, I will immediately book 2 First Class
air tickets to London Heathrow for you and Martha. Will you be able to get
out of the camp and to the airport OK? Is it far???
I really must go and rest now - my mind is so tired with all the excitement, and I have a very busy weekend of shoving religion down peoples throats in public. Praise the Lord!
Your good friend
"The Hedgemeister" (joke - get it?)
PS - Tell Martha to write!! (and tell her to get my tea on.) |
Reg Sez: Sadly, it's starting to look as though I was a bit too OTT with the Barry Parker reply, Cyprain is obviously highly active, but has chosen to ignore him.... 
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:12 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 8
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Barry Parker <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
Subject: Help Please
Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2003 14:37:48 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Barry,
Thanks for your willingness and interested to assist us for this our problem, God bless you.
I want you to know that you are just helping, the request for 30% is too
much, I want you to help us with your willingness, do not attach any thing to it, just do it under humanitarian ground.
Kindly consider us with the 15%, I think is ok.
Yours faithfully,
Martha. |
Reg Sez: I was tempted to write back and play hard-ball but I really want to get Barry up and running! Besides, there doesn't seem much point in arguing over 15/30% of a non-existant sum of money So here's my reply.....
| Quote: |
OK Martha.
I respect good business people, and I have to admit that given your
situation in the refugee camp, fighting to protect your offer of 15% is to
be admired.
OK - lets go ahead on 15 % BUT:-
1) I will deal with you only Martha. Cyprain didn't bother replying, but
you took the time to make sure I was contacted. I will ignore ANY mail from Cyprain - he is obviously a nobhead.
2) We complete in 2 weeks time.
3) NO RELIGIOUS f***ing bullcrap. I already told you I'm not interested in the "God bless you". Just so you know, I am a worshipper of Satan, the
Prince of Darkness - the devil. Any more f***ing sh*t about Jesus and Mary, and the deal will be OFF - understand?
How do we get the money Martha?
B.P. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
Last edited by DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST on Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:22 pm; edited 2 times in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:19 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 9
Reg Sez: Meanwhile, Reggie has TWO emails!!
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
>To: Reg Hedge
Subject: That is good news
Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2003 14:29:19 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Reg,
Good afternoon, how are you today and your family, hope all of you were fine.
I am very happy for the good news that the security company has responded to your mail, though that they ask you to pay ?5,000 for the shipment.
As you said that you have credit facility with the DHL, are you sure that DHL will carry a consignment without open the the consingnment, because any postage through DHL, UPS and EMS, they normally check the content of the consignment to know its content and if any of them found out that the content is money they will not accept it because they do not carry any
thing cash. But if you feel they will carry it, then tell the security
company to ship it through DHL so that you will not pay or atlternatively
you can fly to madrid and carry the consignment by yourself.
In addition, you know that we bestowed our trust and hope on you, and it looks somehow that up till today we did not know you. I asked you for your passport page and you said that you sent it for renewal, I then ask you for your picture so that we will know you and since then you do not want to do anything over that, please, I beg you in the name of the lord, we are worried atleast to see the face of the person that is helping us. Therefore, send your picture to us.
My sister is here, she will write to you now.
When you confirmed the money with you, we will like you to send $5,000.00 to us so that we will use it for our travel arrangement and to settle most people we owed here. You know that you will help us with the letter of invitation though it will be when you recieved the money.
Thank you once more for your good effort, do you contact the security
company again?
Remain blessed,
"Buttock"
Cyprain |
Reg Sez: You couldn't make it up could you?
Anyway Cyprain can wait. He KNOWS I am busy this weekend on God's business. I'll reply Monday. I have downloaded one of them pictures from uglypeople.com which I'll send him. 
Meanwhile, Martha seems a little hesitant about my amourous approaches!
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: For MARTHA - private Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2003 14:53:37 +0000 (GMT)
dear sir,
how are you, i want to use this chance to thank you for your assistance to
our problem, god will reward you for your kindness to us.
i read your mail this morning, thank you for chosen me to be your wife but before we can talk of marraige we need to know each other. so i advice you to fasten the claim of our deposit in security company so that you will send money to us me and cyprain so that we will come and meet you in your house.
secondly, how old are you, single or married. please tell me about yourself completely, as god has told you that i will be your wife, me too i need to pray and ask god as well.
god be with you.
yours
martha
|
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:14 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 10
Barry receives an e-mail......
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Barry Parker <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
Subject: thank you
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2003 16:06:59 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Barry Parker,
i recieved your mail this afternoon, thank you for your willing and interested to help us with the 15%.
now to start the business, like my brother told you before, i need your information so that i will know you more, i mean your contact address, phone number, your photo page of your international passport and i want you to tell us more about your business. immediately this information is received from you, i will then send the contact of the security company to you so that you will deal with them direct. i am waiting to recieved the above information.
yours faithfully
martha. |
Reg Sez: Barry replied promptly in his usual brusque manner!....
| Quote: |
Good. its about time we stopped f***ing about and got this show on the road I'm sure you'll agree.
Barry Gary Parker
Inbreds PLC
14-16 Spain Place,
Boston,
Lincs.
United Kingdom
PE21 6HN
Tel 01*05 36***4. I am away from the office on business much of the time. If you need to ring, you email me first, you got that?
Passport will have to wait - my wife has gone off to USA on business, and has taken my passport with her, the stupid b***h.
I would divorce her immediately, if it weren't for the fact that she is 20 years my junior, extremely athletic in the bedroom, and carries a very impressive chest.
Security Company you say? Where - in Senegal? Send the details, and I'll get on to them straight away. If not prepared to dick about with this, I want this sorted shufty-shufty - kapeesh?
Get a f***ing move on.
Parker. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 10:31 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 11
Reg responds......
| Quote: |
Hello my friends.
First of all, I must throw myself at your feet with apologies - I realise that you asked me for my photograph several days ago. Only when you admonished me did I realise I had forgotten to send this to you. What must you think of me? You probably think I'm some kind of grasshopper-licking camel-shagging nitwit, right?
Please find my photo attached. I desperately hope my foolishness has not jepordised our business and family relationships, because I feel so closely attached to you and Martha, and our "project". Please write back immediately to put my mind at rest? Thankyouthankyouthankyou.
I have been so busy this weekend, I've barely had time to fart. We were fortunate enough to come across a group of bloody presbeterians yesterday, so by the time we had whipped them until they bled, there was hardly any time for baiting homosexuals and agnostics in the street. Still, the work of the Lord knows no end, and so I have to admit I was so tired last night, I found myself completely unable to masturbate, even for a short while. I prayed to the good lord, who advised me that it would be OK to put a "w*** in the bank" on this occasion, so I guess I'll be needing a couple of extra kleenex while I take in the 10 minute freeview on "fantasy Channel" tonight.
Praise the Lord for bringing you people into my lives - it makes me proud to exchange our messages.
You are right about DHL needing to check the consignment before they ship it across here - I hadn't considered that. What do you think we should do? How big is it? Would it fit in the back of my 2CV do you think, if I caught the ferry, and drove down to Madrid? The security company haven't been in touch since Friday, but I don't suppose they work weekends, the lazy Spanish bull-stabbing fu**ers. Let me know what you think we should do next?
Ok - gotta go, I have buttocks in the fridge for supper. Be lucky - Jesus loves us all.
See ya bye
Reg. |
And e-mail's Martha.......
| Quote: |
My Darling Martha.
Please do not fear at all - I already spoke to the Good Lord, and it is his will that we shall marry, and I get to do rudey stuff on December 19th.
You have my word that I will do whatever I can to make sure our business is sorted out and we can be together my love-bucket. Nothing would make me happier, have I got a shirt ironed by the way, love?
As I mentioned a few days ago, I am deeply religious, and am a dedicated member of the Mormon Faith. The Faith dictates that it is God's will that a man must take several wives, so that he is getting his hole, even when one of the other wives is "up on blocks" in a menstrual sense.
I have two existing wives; Madge, and Martha, and both are fully aware you will be joining us in our bed, and are looking forward to it. Obviously, you having the same name as Martha will be a bit confusing, so maybe we can give you another name as a token of my undying love for you? How about "Ralph"? I thnk I'd like that. Rather a lot.
I am 42 years of age, and due to my good fortune in being related (distantly) to the British Royal Family, I inherited a rather substantial wealth when my parents were killed in a tragic incident involving a runaway bulldozer. This enabled me to give up work, and concentrate on God's work in the Mormon Church, Bus & train spotting, and perverse sexual practices.
Thank you for agreeing to marriage Martha...I mean "Ralph"....I know we will be perfect together. I will continue to correspond with Cyprain, but please email me if you want to know anything else about your new life as Mrs Ralph Hedge.
I love you bigtime.
Your Reginald
xxx
sh*t - nearly forgot about my buttocks. Sorry. Thankyouplease. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 12:27 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 12
Reg Sez: sh*t - has Reg been rumbled after sending a pic lifted from ugly.com?
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: thanks for the pic
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 11:45:24 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Sir Reg,
Thank you for your wonderful mail. I confirmed the reciept of your picture
but i am in doubt if this is your real picture, please in order to free
this doubt from me, I need another picture for my confirmation.
Regards to the consignment, I believe is very big because I did not see it, the deposit was made by my late father and since then I have not been able to go to Madrid, therefore I advice you to contact the security company and find out from them.
Alternatively, you can go to Madrid by your self and made the claim, maybe after the claim you can paying the money in bank so that they will transfer it to your account for the safety.
Waiting to hear from you.
Cypran. |
Still, nice to see I've been knighted.....anyway, I'll deal with Barry next as he's had a further e-mail.....
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Barry Parker <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: thank you
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 11:30:22 +0000 (GMT)
i recieve your mail this morning, thank you for your information, please as your passport is not available, kindly send your picture to me and i want
to call you by the phone tonight 10pm.
yours faithfully.
martha. |
in reply...
| Quote: |
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barry Parker" <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
To: <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2003 12:43 PM
Subject: Re: thank you
What do you need my photo for? Stop wasting time, and get the security company to email me so we can get moving!! Hope they are more efficient than you cabbages. Time is money.
If you want to ring me it will have to be tomorrow - I'm away on business - email contact only.
Parker |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:15 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 13
Reg Sez: Make or break time ....will Cyprain fall for it?
| Quote: |
Mr dear friend and brother.
I read your last message with a heavy heart. Whatever must you think of me? I can only hope by god's grace you can forgive me my sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
The time has come to be honest with you Cyprain. You are correct, the photograph I sent you is not of myself. I feel so ashamed. How did you know? Is it because the man in the photo looks younger than my 42 years of age?
Before you get really angry with me, please let me explain.
When I was younger, I was involved in a bad car accident, and was trapped inside, while the car was on fire. As a result, my head was badly burned and looks very strange to people who don't know me. This makes me feel embarrassed and shy about people seeing my face, which is badly scarred. I sent you a false photograph because I was worried about what you might think of me with my face disfigured like it is. I just hope you can forgive me Cyprian, and Martha too. The Lord teaches us that beauty is within, but it is difficult not to feel self-conscious in my position.
Luckily my "buttocks" were not burned.
I now send you another photo - in the words of the truly talentless Mike Yarwood - "This is me". Please do not laugh at my ugly appearance. I always wear a hat to cover up my head.
I think I should make a gesture to prove my willingness and dedication to our deal Cyprain - I would like to send a present to you and Martha. Is there anything you would particularly like? How about a Breville Snack and sandwich toaster? or maybe a Remington fuzzaway? Please send the address of the refugee camp, and I will dispatch something to you straight away, please just name it.
Meanwhile, I have had contact with the man at the security company in Madrid. Are you absolutely sure we can trust them Cyprain? If so, I will arrange with him to get the consignment over to the UK.
Begging for your forgiveness and the mercy of sweet Jesus, who died on the cross. At Easter. Please write back.
Reginald.
|
Reg Sez: Sent him a photo of.....
Nikki Lauda!!
Let's hope he doesn't follow motor racing.
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 10:01 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 14
| Quote: |
From: magnum security <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
Reply-To: <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
To: "Reg Hedge"
Subject: READY FOR SHIPMENT
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 06:47:00 -0500
Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail. The consignment is about 27kg. and we are
also a courier company. Right now the consingment is slated for shipment we are only waiting for the fund so that it can be dispacched to you with a guarantee that it will get to you in about 48hrs. please make the funds available now. All paper works are available and certified ok.
Due regards
Anthony smith |
Reg Sez:- Copied Cyprain into my reply:-
| Quote: |
Dear sir
Thank you for your message. If we are to go ahead, I really need absolute assurance that the consignment is secure and will not be opened or misplaced in transit?
Please can you advise the answers to the following questions?
1) Please can you forward copies of the certified paperwork by email
attachment by return?
2) Please also confirm that the price of e4850 includes suitable insurance cover. The consignment contains some of Mr Geiu's family items - there is nothing of great monetary value, but a great sentimental value. The value of the insurance must cover up to $12m - if I need to pay an extra premium to cover this amount, please let me know
3) I hope you don't mind me asking this; what nationality are you Mr Smith? I am just curious because your command of the English language is very good for somebody in Spain!
4) Will the consignment be able to avoid HM Customs on arrival in the UK?
5) Please advise the best way of making the payment to you as quickly a possible.
On receipt of your reply I will refer the matter to Mr Geiu for his approval
before we proceed.
Thank you for your prompt attention.
R Hedge. |
I then sent a little note to Cyprain:-
| Quote: |
Hello again Cyprain.
I have sent another note to the security company with some questions, and sent you a copy.
Are you really sure they can be trusted Cyprain? I have asked Mr Smith which country he is from, to make sure he isn't a Nigerian buffalo-fu***r.
I will check with you when he replies, to make sure you are happy before I send him some money.
I hope you are forgiving my sins.
Reg. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 10:14 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 15
| Quote: |
From: magnum security <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
Reply-To: <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
To: "Reg Hedge"
Subject: Re: Re: READY FOR SHIPMENT
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 13:47:24 -0500
Dear sir,
Our company is a licensed diplomatic courier company.
Over the years we have been handling diplomatic shipments for some foreign misions therefore we intend to put a diplomatic seal on this consignment just as it came to us from africa through our companies branch office to avoide inspection. I expect that you have the certificate of deposit issued to mr robert guei,s family. so what other paper work are you talking about. I was able to give you information because your name has been mentioned to me through an email that the consignment should be released to you so i assume that you have the relevant documents.
The requested amount of 4,850euros is for shippment alone. If you desire an insurance cover then you will pay an additional fee of 6924 euros premium with the value of consingment put at $12 million usd. The insurance cover is for a period of 5days maximum transit period. The choice is yours if you realy want this insurance cover but we have never failed any of our past customers. I,m from the bahamas and i work for magnum security and courier service here in spain.
The payment can be made through our bank account or by western union money transfer which is faster. The choice is yours. please get back to me as soon as possible with your decision.
Due regards
Anthony smith |
Reg Sez: And my reply.....
| Quote: |
Dear sir.
Many thanks for this information. I have referred the details to Mr Geui,
and I am awaiting his approval before progressing.
In terms of the documents I was asking you to send, I was referring to your
comment "All paper works are available and certified ok".
I will be in touch as soon as I hear from Mr Guei.
Kind regards
Reg Hedge |
Reg Sez:-
Cyprain has gone very quiet!.......
I forgot to mention that the emails from the security company are extremely impressive. Obviously with all that diplomatic work they do they must have to maintain a thoroughly professional image at all times. The footer is as follows:-
| Quote: |
________________________________________________
Get your own "800" number
Voicemail, fax, email, and a lot more
http://www.ureach.com/reg/tag |
Its just incomprehensible to me that anyone would ever be taken in by this crap. Just running a quick google on the names of Cyprain, Martha and the security company brings up dozens of links to scam sites, messageboards etc. Yet they must get some money out of people else they wouldn't do it presumably.
Ah well. Last go at Cyprain before I give up I reckon:-
| Quote: |
Buttocks Cyprain.
My heart is heavy today. After our misunderstanding, you still haven't been in contact, and now I am worried that you and Martha have chosen to call off our business transaction, and Martha will not become my wife.
This morning I prayed very very hard to God for his advice - so hard in fact that I was semi-erect by the time I had finished. God has told me that things are meant to be, that if this is a good and righteous thing (and I believe it is) that you will be in touch to re-assure me very soon. But he also told me that if you have chosen to cancel our relationship, then it is
my fault for being so stupid as to send that fake photograph to you. You and Martha are in desperate need and I will have let you down, so God has told me that if I don't complete our business, I must throw myself in front of a speeding train to kill myself. I just hope you will be in touch so that I can live, and help you to get away from that terrible place Cyprain.
The man from the Security company has been in touch and wants to know what is happening. ( I have sent a copy to you). I told him I need to wait until you contact me again to decide what to do. I feel re-assured by Mr Smith - he isn't a window-licking Nigerian goat-fu***r at all, he is from the Bahamas, and that is a nice place - Barry Manilow wrote a song about it. "Bahama Triangle". But we will have to decide if I should pay extra for
insurance.
If you still want us to do this business, I need to check some other details
with you, but first I need to know you still want to go ahead? I am preying
you do Cyprain.
Oh my love, my darling, I've hungered for your love, a long, lonely time.
And time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much, are you still mine? I need your love I need your love God speed your love to me. (that was for Martha by the way).
May the love of the good lord save you from hardship, and me from the 08.32 to Waterloo.
Your ever loyal friend
Reginald |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:41 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 16
Reg Sez: Parker's getting twitchy.....
| Quote: |
I go away on business for a day, come back and nothing!!
You haven't sent the details of the Securuty company, you haven't rung me. Don't you want to get this money ??
SEND ME THE DETAILS OF THE f***ing SECURITY COMPANY SO I CAN SORT THEM OUT, AND GET YOU YOUR MONEY!!!!
Its like dealing with the f***ing Welsh.
- PARKER |
Reg Sez: At last! The show is back on the road ladies & gentlemen!.....
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge <
Subject: Buttocks
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 15:29:29 +0000 (GMT)
"BUTTOCKS"
Dear Sir,
Thanks for your many mails, actually I feel offended but that is not the
reason I did not write to you.
Firstly, how are you and your family, hope all of you were fine?
I have gone through all the mails you sent and understood. There is no
problem, we will continue our transaction as well but is good to be since
with the people you are dealing with but I need one thing from you. Please I want you to bear with me, do not see it that I am hash or too inquistive, I need your photo page of your international passport, it will be of much use for us.
Regards for the shipment of the consignment to you, well there is no need of paying money for the insurance while they have assured you that since they have been shipping it to their customers that they have never failed them, therefore pay only for the shipment.
God bless you and your family.
Cyprain.
|
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:48 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 17
Reggie's reply to Cyprain:-
| Quote: |
Thank goodness! I am so relieved to hear from you! I thought maybe you had been killed by ba****ds, or had decided not to continue with our
transaction. I am sorry I have offended you.
I know sometimes some of the things I write sound unusual, but I suppose I just lead an odd life, and think strange things. If I ever say something that upsets you or Martha, please let me know, so I can apologise with God as my witness. Buttocks. You didn't tell me what presents you would like me to send to you and Martha as a way of saying sorry? Please tell me what you want, and I will send it. How about a "dirt-devil"? they are very good, we use one at the Mormon Church.
I understand about the passport I am still waiting for it to be renewed, and just as soon as the new one is issued, I will immediately email you the photo-page. I am still unsure about the courier - I think I would feel happier about having the insurance? I'd be happy to pay for it, and take it off my share of the money Cyprain, so it doesn't cost you anything? What do you think?
Please advise as soon as possible.
Your good and dear friend in God,
Reggie. |
Reg Sez:- Cyprain is getting a bit tetchy now....
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: Thank the lord
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 23:59:39 +0000 (GMT)
"BUTTOCKS"
Dear Reg,
Please explain, what do you mean by "dirt-devil"?
For the courrier or insurance it is up to you. if you have money to waste for that then good and fine but I do not see it necessary.
Thank you.
Cyprain. |
And Reg's reply:-
| Quote: |
Mr dearest brother Cyprain.
I return to you your greeting of "buttocks"
I apologise - I should have realised that you might not be familiar with the "Dirt-Devil". It is a small hand-held vacuum cleaner - as I said they are really good, and the Elder at the Mormon Church has been using one for several months. There's an example of one here:-
http://www.eneva.com/brands/dirt-devil-08100red-hand-vac-plus.asp
If you would like one, please let me know. Or if you prefer another present, I will send it instead; please it is an offer of friendship and to apologise for making you pissed off with me.
If you really think I don't need to worry about insurance cover, then I will do it without. I shall send an email now to Magnum Securities asking them to ship the consiignment. Gosh - we are so close Cyprain, I really am becoming most aroused by it all. Isn't it exciting? Please can you send me the original deposit certificate as an email attachment Cyprain? (Mr Smith says that you will have it). Thank you
Your ever loyal friend in the Lord and his son Jesus Christ our saviour.
Reg. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
Last edited by DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST on Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 18
Reg Sez: Have e-mailed the shipping company....
| Quote: |
Dear Mr Smith
Many thanks for your help so far. We have decided to go ahead with the
shipment without the insurance cover, as your record is so good.
I would like you to dispatch the shipment to the address given in
Bournemouth immediately please.
Thanks and kind regards
Reg Hedge |
Reg Sez: Aha ha ha !
So much for a professional diplomatic service....
| Quote: |
From: Mail Delivery Agent <mailer-admin@ureach.com>
To: reg_hedge
Subject: Returned mail: Subscriber is over disk quota
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 08:07:11 -0500
The original message was received at Wed, 19 Nov 2003 08:07:11 -0500
from law12-f8.law12.hotmail.com [64.4.19.8]
The following had permanent fatal errors:
<magnum_securities@ureach.com>
----- Transcript of session follows -----
550 <magnum_securities@ureach.com>... Subscriber is over disk quota |
| Quote: |
Hello Cyprain.
I'm very worried.
The Security company's email has been returned. Do you think they might
have gone bankrupt or summat?
Reg. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:09 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 19
Reg Sez: Meanwhile, Parker is in confrontational mode....
| Quote: |
This is bullcrap.
You are in a refugee camp, what the hell do you plan to do with my passport - eat it?
I have no problem with sending you a copy, but if you bothered to read my previous messages, you will see that I can't send it to you because my wife has taken it with her on her business trip to the USA. She won't be back for another 3 weeks.
As for photos, you haven't sent yours to me - why do I need to send mine to you ? I do multi-million dollar transactions with people all over the world every week of the year. None of them want to know what I look like, they just want to know if I can meet their business requirements.
You have got my name, addresss, business details email address and phone number - what the f**k else do you need?
We've been pissing about for nearly a week now and we are STILL no further on. You are in a refugee camp - surely you want this deal done, get your money as quickly as possible, and get the f**k out of the place?
I suggest you EITHER send me the contact details for the Security firm, OR we call the whole thing off. Its your choice.
And for f***s sake hurry up about it.
Parker |
Reg Sez:-
I would just LOVE to know what goes on at the other end of those emails.....
My strategy is this:-
Get Cyprain to think I am literally on the verge of wiring the money and then introduce a problem, whereby my trust for him is called into question. I'm not sure how to do this yet - one option is to pretend that Barry has been sent all of Reg's correspondence, and get Barry to email Reg, telling him he's been fitted up. OR I also have a copy of the original spam with slightly different details which I picked up off a website. I could send it to Cyprain (claiming that Reg had been sent it) saying that I didn't know if he was genuine any more.
Then what I'll do is tell Cyprain I need some gesture to prove he is genuine before I send the money. I shall ask him for a photo of himself holding a card with the message "Reg Hedge is my friend".
Cyprain is highly suspicious of me, but I can't help thinking his greed will get the better of him! Time will tell....
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:19 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 20
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: The Security Documents
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 20:47:50 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Sir Reg,
Thanks once more for your mails.
I adviced you to call Mr Smith by the phone if their email is not workable. Secondly I attached to you the requested documents.
Please when are you making the payment for the shipment of the consignment and when will you recieved the consignment.
Kindly handle this issue very urgent.
Buttocks.
Cyprain. |
I forgot to mention that 3 very official looking documents were sent along with that.
Reg replies....
| Quote: |
Cyprain.
Buttocks.
I already told you I CANNOT ring Mr Smith, because I don't have a telephone, and I won't use them.
I am very very worried about all this. A diplomatic Courier and Security Company like that should not run out of space on their email server. I fear that the company has gone bankrupt, and your family's money will have been lost forever. I desperately hope this is not the case Cyprain for your sake and Martha's. I know this is really urgent, and your situation is desperate, but I can't do anything else - please understand I am so concerned about the situation that my nocturnal emissions have started again.
Maybe you can call Mr Smith to find out what is happening?
I have also just found out that I must be away all day tomorrow. I have to attend a church conference in Lyme Regis, which I would normally be looking forward to immensely, but I fear that I am so worried about you and Martha that my bowels may let me down. My rectal prolapse has been troubling me for some time now, and all the worry will surely make matters worse. I probably won't be able to pick up any messages now until Friday morning.
If everything is OK with the Security company, I will send them the money by "Western Union" straight away. I think I need some details from Magnum first though? (I have never used Western Union before).
Please do what you can Cyprian - I am praying for us all now.
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:28 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 21
Reg Sez:- Ah! bless. Reg's wife-to-be, the 2-timing-trollop, has sent BARRY PARKER her photograph!
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Barry Parker <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
Subject: my picture
Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 14:13:41 +0000 (GMT)
Barry,
i dont know that i did not send my picture to you, let us be sincere to each other, i attached my picture to you so that you will know me. please do not be offended, kindly send your picture so that we can build the trust and honest to one another.
martha. |
Reg Sez: Barry's retort is typically blunt!......
| Quote: |
Right - lets review our partnership so far shall we?
YOU wrote to me on Monday 10th November (nearly 2 weeks ago), telling me how desperate you are.
YOU are in a refugee camp in appalling conditions
YOU need to get that money as quickly as possible, and get out of Africa, because there are people there who want to KILL YOU. You cannot afford to waste any time at all...
I supplied you immediately with my email address, business details, postal address and telephone numbers. I told you I would help you to sort this out as quick as possible I have asked you repeatedly for the contact of the Security company. I am not under pressure. Nobody is out to kill me. I have more money than you could wave a sh**ty stick at, and a house big enough even for your fat ar*e.
Looking at all these circumstances, I would have expected YOU to be the one pushing ME to hurry up. My last email told you to stop f***ing about and send the details to me, so I can get everything in place - I am ready to get moving!
What happens? Do you send me the contact details for the security company ? NO. You send a f***ing stupid photograph of yourself.
I HAVE ALREADY EXPLAINED. I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. YOU COULD HAVE A C*CK GROWING OUT OF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD FOR ALL I CARE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE EITHER - IT DOESN'T MATTER - CAN'T YOU f***ing UNDERSTAND?
You will get a copy of my passport as soon as I get it back, although f**k knows why you think it is so important. We have never met - exchanging photos does not mean I can trust you any more, or that you can trust me better. Get this love - we are NOT friends, we are BUSINESS PARTNERS. There is a risk in any business venture. I am prepared to trust you, but if you don't think you can trust me, then f**k off and stop wasting my time.
Right. Now we have cleared up those points, I will repeat for the FINAL
time:-
SEND ME THE DETAILS OF THE BLOODY f***ing SECURITY COMPANY.
If I don't have them by 16:00 Friday, then our deal will be CANCELLED, and you can f**k about finding some other twit with time to waste.
Can I assume you have understood all that?????
- PARKER |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 11:15 am Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 22
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Thanks for your mail.
Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 14:05:09 +0000 (GMT)
Respected Buttocks.
Thanks for your good mail.
I contacted the security company this morning but the mail did not return to me, I wonder the mail you sent returns, please resend the mail to them though I told them to what you said to give you guidiance how to make the payment through western union money transfer.
I wish you safe journey to your conference and much blessing of the lord and try to put us in prayer too.
Waiting to hear from you as soon as you return.
Cyprain. |
Reg Sez: Cyprain has said the Security Co are Ok now, so here goes....
| Quote: |
Dear Mr Smith
What has been happening with your email address? I sent you several messages but they weren't delivered to you because your server was full.
You must have lost a lot of business?
We have decided to go ahead with the shipment without the insurance cover, as your record is so good.
I would like you to dispatch the shipment to the address given in Bournemouth immediately please.
I think Western Union would be the quickest way to pay you - I have never used this before though; please can you advise the procedure? Please advise the amount payable in £ pounds sterling, as we do not use the Euro monopoly-money down here in Dorset.
Thanks and kind regards
Reg Hedge |
Reg Sez: Time to get in touch with Cyprain.....
| Quote: |
My dearest blessed, loved and respected friend in "buttocks" Cyprain (not to forget my beautiful wife to be Martha)...
How my heart is soaring today! Blessed me the lord, and also these little
bags of maltesers that they are now doing in white.
I am positively clammy with excitement now that we have confirmed that
everything is still Ok.
Thank you for your very kind wishes regarding my travel to the conference. It was a very long day, but very invigorating. We spent a great deal of time in prayer and I asked the good lord for guidance once again about our transaction, and he assured me that my judgement is sound. We also spent some time discussing the way the Mormon Church handles issues around self-abuse, which was quite interesting. It's Ok apparently, which is a bit of a relief all things considered.
This morning, I have sent another email to Mr Smith, and hopefully we can complete our transaction early next week, and I can book your flights to the UK.
Cyprain - I hope you are not syill offended with me? You still haven't told
me what you would like as a present? I will need to send some money by Western Union to Mr Smith, maybe I can send some for you and Martha at the same time so you can buy some stuff? Let me know.
I love you (platonically)
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
Last edited by DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST on Wed Oct 18, 2006 8:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 8:30 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 23
Reg Sez: They got their email address working again....
| Quote: |
[From: magnum security <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
Reply-To: <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
To: "Reg Hedge"
Subject: Re: Go ahead
Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 07:59:11 -0500
Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail. I,m sorry that you could not reach me all this while. Our mail box was actually full but now it is ok.
To send money by western union, just go to any of there branches in the uk they will be able to tell you the value of 4,850 euros in pounds stelling. They will also require the information of the reciever in madrid spain since it has to be an individual name as below.
MR HENRY WILLIAMS
CALLE 5 LOS YEBENES
MADRID SPAIN
Send as above name who is our treasury officer. please count 24hrs from the time of reciept of this money for the consignment to reach your address as provided by you.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
For live market rates between euro and pounds check on
www.xe.com though this rate could be different from western
union rate.
Live mid-market rates as of 2003.11.21 12:30:58 GMT.
4,850.00 EUR
Euro = 3,383.81 GBP
United Kingdom Pounds
1 EUR = 0.697693 GBP 1 GBP = 1.43330
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
For more info on western union in your country go to www.westernunion.com search for your country info. United Kingdom
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
SENDING MONEY from an Agent Location
Note: This service may not be available at all locations.
Visit your nearest Western Union®Agent location
Fill out a Send Money form Provide payment to the clerk in cash - including the amount to be sent and appropriate fee(s). Identification may be required. Additional restrictions may apply.
Get the receipt that includes your Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN). Give the MTCN to the person picking up the funds for extra
convenience. A test question may be required by law or may be
used to help Western Union identify the receiver of the funds.
RECEIVING MONEY at an Agent Location
Visit your nearest Western Union®Agent location
Fill out a Receive Money form.
For faster service contact your sender for the Money Transfer
Control Number (MTCN).
Present the completed form and valid identification to the
clerk. Additional restrictions may apply.
Agent Location
NAME : FEXCO
TELEPHONE NO : 0800 833 833*
HOURS : Daily 24 hours
WEBSITE : www.fexcomt.com
please let me have the control number as soon as the money is sent.
Regards
Anthony smith |
| Quote: |
Dear Mr Smith - this seems fine, thank you.
I have some Church business to attend to, and I will then visit Western
Union to make the payment later today.
Kind regards
Reg Hedge |
Reg Sez: Meanwhile, Barry has had a response......
| Quote: |
ika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Barry Parker <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
Subject: why hiding your identity
Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 17:40:43 +0000 (GMT)
Sir,
why hiding your self while you have agreed to help us. you mentioned here that we are business partners that we are not friend, then how do you think that somebody you called your business partner that you did not know him. it is too appally that we do not know the person that is helping us. getting the money is not only the problem but how safety. i thought you really mean to help us.
you complained that afterall i did not send my picture to you and i send it immediately, now you said you dont care to see my f***ing picture. i want to let you know that this money is the last future hope me and my brother have for this world, we have lost our lovely family, therefore we will be very much careful for this our last hope.
i also want to let you know that no condition is perminent, two years ago we do not know that we will get ourself in this condition, therefore, if
you really want to help us, please i beg you with the name of the lord to
send your picture to us so that we will know you. giving you the contact of the security company is not problem, so kindly send the picture. try to imagine yourself if you are in our position. we trust you and believe with you but we need to know you. waiting for your urgent response.
martha. |
Barry's Reply........
| Quote: |
From: "Barry Parker" <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
To: <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
Sent: Friday, November 21, 2003 10:48 PM
Subject: Re: why hiding your identity
The deal is off. I told you to send the security company details today, and you haven't. I'm not hiding my identity at all, you have all my details. If I send you a photo, how would you know it is me anyway? The ONLY way you will know is from my photo page from my passport, which I promnised to send as soon as I could.
I did NOT ask for your photo - I just pointed out that you were demanding mine without offering me yours. I don't want it, I don't care what you look like.
However, as we are on the subject....that photo is NOT you Martha. You think I'm a f***ing monkey or something? Those clothes, jewellery and that hairstyle were in fashion in the 1980's, when you would have only been a baby. So don't come the "hiding your identity" line with me lady. To be honest - its not a problem for me; I can understand why you wouldn't want to put your face there with your current circumstances.
What I really can't understand is this. If you are in a refugee camp, WHY are you messing about asking for meaninless photos? Your freedom was a few days away, but you were delaying it by f***ing about. If it would take a random unidentified photo to make the difference between trusting me or not, then you are very gullible. Why didn't you ring me to find out details about me?
It is your loss. You have now lost the opportunity to get out of that place for a long long time, and all because you screwed about.
I tell you what - I WILL give you once last chance to get yourself out of there. And you should consider yourself lucky, I don't give last chances very often. My wife arrived back early from the states today, and brought my passport with her. IF you send me the photo page of YOUR International passport, as an email attachment, then I will immediately send you mine in return. THEN we can get the money , yes? Can't say fairer than that.
Is that a deal?
B.P. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:33 am Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 24
Reg Sez: Phase one of my plan swings into action...
| Quote: |
osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Barry Parker <barryparker500@hotmail.com>
Subject: Can i trust you?
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 23:54:07 +0000 (GMT)
dear barry,
thank you for your mail. i do not know the truth with you, in the first place, you told me that your wife travel to the states with your passport and she will stay long before she will come back, even two days ago you mention something like that nature but i wonder how your wife just arrive today immediately, do you mean your will travel and come back without your knowledge, i mentioned this before to you that we need to be sincere to each other. if you are really want to help us and mean what you said ealier that as soon as your wife return that you will send the passport to us , how then that your wife return and you did not want to send the passport to us in order to know you, it is too appally, it means that your wife did not travel any where, you just determind to hide yourself to us while you have accepted to help us for this our problem. i want to let you know that this help is under humanitarian ground, it is not by force, it is on your willingness, out of your heart.
regards to my passport, it seem you do not understand the condition we ran to this senegal, we are not senegalaise, i am a foreigner here with my brother. we just escape from death, i personally lost my passport during the crises in our country. if you like i can send you my another picture if you doubt the first picture i gave you.
believe me mr barry, we have told you all the truth we know about ourselves and sincerely speaking we cannot trusth this our last hope to someone that we did not have his picture. therefore, if our condition here touches you, then send the required information, i mean the photo page of your international passport to us since your wife is back so that we will know you.
thanks
martha. |
Parker's reply:-
| Quote: |
bullcrap. Bull-double-sh*t
So you lost your passport? How the f**k did you cross 2 borders to get to Senegal then? And I suppose you lost all the paperwork for the box of cash as well? Thought not.
You might have got away with your scam, if you'd just asked me for some money, and given me the false details of the security company. I was in a hurry to do the deal but you screwed about and made me suspicious.
So, yesterday I employed a private detective to verify some of the stuff
you've been telling me. What he found out was that your SCAM has been doing the rounds for about a year, a fake Security Company in Europe somehere (probably Amsterdam or somewhere) would have contacted me to ask for a fee to release the consignment, wihich would have been an empty box (if indeed it ever existed).
You want to know the funniest thing? If you had just sent that false email to me last week, I WOULD have paid the fee! You would have scammed me out of several thousand Euros, and now you have had NOTHING. I only got suspicious because you were behaving so stupidly! Have to say as a fraudster, you are a f***ing sh*t one! Ha ha ha!
Oh - by the way. My detective checked the original email you sent me, and got a list of loads of other people you sent it to at the same time! Like I said you are a pretty sh*t scammer aren't you? I have emailed every one of them to warn them that you are a criminal and a fraudster.
So...which country do you REALLY live in? My detective says its probably
Nigeria, right?
Praise the Lord!!
Baz. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:40 am Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 25
Reg Sez: Very amateurish.
NO REPLY AT ALL to Barry's email! Cyprain is obviously nervous about Reg too!
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: Go ahead
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 11:06:23 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Sir Reg,
For three days now I did not heard from you, what is happening?
Please I will like to hear from you to know the situation.
Cyprain. |
I'm a Sir now!  I'll make him sweat a bit longer I reckon....
| Quote: |
Hello Cyprain. No buttocks? Please remember!
I am very sorry I've not been in touch. I missed the Western Union office on Friday - it was closed when I arrived. The Elder at the Mormon Church has asked me to help him out with taking some sick and disabled children on a short holiday to Scotland, and that's where I am right now. I won't be back until Wednesday - I'm very sorry, but it was very urgent.
I will sort out Western Union then, and we can get you out of that dreadful place.
Your good friend in God
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 26
Cyprain can just SMELL the money!!......
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: thanks
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 21:57:47 +0000 (GMT)
Sir,
Nice hearing from you, how are you and your family inculding the people you took to Scotland, hope fine? Well there is no problem we are waiting for your action, everything is in your hand. Please try as soon as you are back on wednesday or you can easily pay them in the Scotland and instruct them to bring the consignment so that by the time you will be back the consignment will arrive too.
Buttocks
Regards,
Cyprain. |
Reg Sez: This should set the cat among the pigeons!!! .....
| Quote: |
Cyprain.
Buttocks
When I got back late last night, there was the following message in my email from somebody called Barry Parker:-
"You were recently sent an email from an email account which claims to be from Cyprain and Martha Guei in Senegal. I have your email address because it was included along with many others in the email when it went out.
Please be aware that this is a FRAUD. I was nearly conned myself, but got suspicious when a few things didn't add up. I employed a private detective who found that this is a common scam, where the perpetrators will demand some kind of fee BEFORE the huge sum of money is released or dispatched. The money does not exist, it is just a bait for you to pay some money to the fraudsters (who are NOT relatives of the late Mr Guei by the way, these are false identities).
If you have entered into a discussion with these people, please stop RIGHT NOW - you could lose a lot of money.
Best regards
B Parker."
I have been so worried by this Cyprain. I was not able to sleep last night, even frenzied masturbation was insufficient. I prayed to the good Lord for guidance, and he told me to ask you about it and explain. I have never heard of Barry Parker - do you know him? Why is he saying these things about you and Martha? Please tell me that you are genuine, and that Barry Parker is not telling the truth? I can't believe you would want to trick me after we have become such good friends. After all, I have seen the certificates, and everything seems Ok? Maybe Barry Parker is an enemy of yours? Or someone is trying to stop our transaction so they can steal your money?
Please explain what you know? If you are criminals and not my friends, i
will kill myself by throwing myself under a fast train.
Please write back and re-assure me that I am safe. I am so worried, I think I have followed through onto my clean undergarments.
Your friend
Reg. |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 27
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: thanks
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 20:17:05 +0000 (GMT)
Thanks for hearing from you. You are welcome from your journey.
Well I do not have much to talk over the issue of Barry, I do not know Barry, sure we contacted him for the help and we demand his identification and he refused to give it to us then we told him that we will not give him the contact information of the security because we found out that he want to go and claim this money and run away with the money. He is completely criminal. Do not share our conversation with him because he is a magott.
Therefore, if you are willing to help then go ahead as we discussed.
Buttocks.
Regards,
Cyprain. |
| Quote: |
Buttocks Cyprain.
I don't know what to think at all. Mr Parker has sent me emails to say that he paid somebody to investigate you and Martha, and he found out you were running a scam.
I did not know you had been asking other people to help you Cyprain - when did you ask Mr Parker to help?
Deep down, I feel that you are my friends and you would not trick me. But I have been tricked before by those Nigerian Monkey-fu**ers that I told you about.
All I really do know is that the good Lord has always guided me and will not let me down. I need to spend the day praying Cyprain, and I will ask God whether you really are my good friends, and we can go ahead, or whether I should put a stop to our transaction.
Of course, if we have to stop, I will have lost my very good friend and my
new bride, and will have nothing to live for. I would have to throw myself
at a speeding train. While stimulating my glans probably.
When I have finished praying Cyprain, I will contact you once again to let
you know what the good Lord tells me to do.
Reg |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:32 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 28
| Quote: |
From: magnum security <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
Reply-To: <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
To: "Reg Hedge" <reg_hedge@hotmail.com>
Subject: THE INFO
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 11:31:39 -0500
Dear sir,
could you please let me know if you have sent the money by western union. I need the senders info and control so that we can pick the money up and do the needfull.
Due regards
Anthony smith |
Anyway, I replied this morning:-
| Quote: |
Dear Mr Smith
May I apologise for the delay. I am aware that this might cause an extra
charge on the consignment, but this is acceptable because the delay is being caused at my end.
It turns out that Cyprain Guei might be a rat-shagging rhino-fu***r. He
probably isn't, but I need to find out, and the only way to do this is by
asking God. God will guide me but he doesn't send prompt emails like your good self - he takes his time, which is fair enough as he probably has quite a few incoming queries at any one time. Even though he is omnipresent, I expect he still needs the occasional tea-break and a smoke. He did create heaven, earth and all creation in 7 days, so I suppose he's bound to get a bit run down from time to time.
Anyway Mr Smith - once again please accept my apologies for f***ing you about and just as soon as the good Lord has guided me to complete our transaction, I will immediately send you the money by Western Union. I hope this will be early next week.
With best regards
Reginald A.W.Hedge |
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: thanks
Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 12:06:06 +0000 (GMT)
Buttocks
Ok sir I am waiting for the result of your prayer
Regards,
Cyprain |
Reg Sez: It really is a good job we are dealing with god-fearing folk here, otherwise, I could get ripped off!
| Quote: |
security <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
Reply-To: <magnum_securities@ureach.com>
To: "Reg Hedge"
Subject: Re: Apologies for delay
Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 15:05:20 -0500
Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail. Its so nice to see that you are a very religious person. Infact i pray to GOD ALMIGHTY every morning for direction and his blessing before i leave home.
Please let me know as soon as you are ready and bear in mind that further delay could result to more charges.
The gospel truth is that we will deliver right on time when you are ready.
Due regards
From: magnum
Anthony smith |
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DALEY MAYALL of YE PEST
First team captain
Joined: 29 Jul 2002
Posts: 4237
Location: Down the boozer, penning the next SCOOP!
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:22 pm Post subject: Re: REG HEDGE'S FINEST POSTS....... |
|
|
PART 29
| Quote: |
My good friends Martha and Cyprain
This message is assuredly with BUTTOCKS. Oh yes.
I have been awake all night - there was a small amount of time spent masturbating, but for most of the time I have been praying to the Good Lord. This is what he told me:-
"Reg - only YOU can decide if you can trust Cyprain or not, but if you keep your faith in me I shall ENSURE that you make the right choice. You MUST ask Cyprain for a gesture to prove his commitment and honesty. Pay the money immediately as soon as you have recieved your gesture from him."
This is what the almighty God, our Father in heaven has told me. I feel very happy because it means we can go ahead Cyprain if you will make a gesture to prove you are genuinely my friend, business partner and brother.
This is what we will do....
You must take a photograph of yourself, holding a piece of paper which has written on it in very clear writing "REG HEDGE IS MY FRIEND". The words must be readable, and your face must be clear. Then email the photo to me as an attachment.
As soon as I recieve the email I will know you are genuinely my dear friend, and I will immediately go straight to the Western Union office to make the payment - I've got the cash right here.
I am so pleased that we can proceed - I know you will not let me down and that you will do as God asks of you. I am so sorry that you have to go to this inconvenience - please understand that it is not me asking you to do this, it is the Good Lord, and he holds a place for you in heaven one you have completed this small task.
If you can do this today, I can send the money before the weekend (western Union is open until 17:00 GMT.)
Please don't let me down - I have good faith in you and Martha. If you were to refuse, I would know you are criminals, and I will kill myself in the aforementioned Reg/speeding train interface scenario. But I trust and believe in you and know you will send me the photo, and we will soon all be together, when we can exchange bodily fluids. (well, me and Martha anyway. You can watch "Bo Selecta" on E4).
Your ever loving brother and friend.
Reg |
Reg Sez:- IS MY PLAN ABOUT TO FAIL???
| Quote: |
From: ngozika osita <ngozika_osita@yahoo.co.in>
To: Reg Hedge
Subject: Re: The Good Lord guides me
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 16:04:50 +0000 (GMT)
Dear Mr Reg,
Thank you for your wonderful mail. I want to let you know that money is not everything. Bear in your mind that no condition is perminent. I want to let you know that whether you are paying today or not, I cannot do something that is not pleasant to me.
In the first place, you told me that you are a christian, and now you told
me here I quote "" Reg - only YOU can decide if you can trust Cyprain or not, but if you keep your faith in me I shall ENSURE that you make the right choice" By this statement alone, you do not need to ask me to prove myself again because the lord has proved me and my sister to you.
Therefore, if you are helping us, then go ahead and help but if you are not helping then there is no problem, there is no way we will die, God knows the best for his people.
Till today, I do not have your identification which I asked you for the first day.
I do not need to talk much.
God bless you.
Buttocks.
Cyprain. |
Reg's response......
| Quote: |
Cyprain - buttocks
I do not understand.
If I have explained what God told me badly then I apologise. He has told me that I can ONLY make the decision based on you sending me your photograph.
You have to understand that if our transaction does not go aheaed I must
kill myself, God has told me so. Please - I don't want to die.
About the identification, I am still waiting for my passport - I promise you
faithfully that I will send it to you immediately as soon as I get it back.
I have sent you a photo instead - what else do you need?
Are you saying that you won't make this gesture for me Cyprain? Is that
what you are telling me?
Please send the photo for all our sakes.
In God
Reg |
WILL CYPRAIN LET REG DIE??
_________________
"No-one who owns a shareholding of 75% or more is likely to take kindly to being told what he must or must not do. " - Doug-larse - Feb. 2001
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
| |
Copyright Notice: This site is Copyright 1998-2005 and not to be reproduced without permission.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
|
|
| |
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
