North Yorks Man Sent To Israel

[AllModCons]

Two Dicks: I Haifa Go!

By Press Reporter

A North Yorks man has been given a staggering remit by Downing Street today, sorting out the problems in Israel. Tony Two Dicks of Selby was the shock choice as the PM continued his policy of involvement in global affairs. "Now is not the time for soundbites" opined PM Tony Two Faces, before adding: "but I feel the hand of history on our shoulder".... He then passed over to his Deputy John Two Jags who recalled the moment he met the young van driver last week. "It was at the York Philipin....." he began saying before quickly changing subject. "You can criticise him all you want but he knows his Middle Eastern Politics."

Two Jags became aware of Tony when he heard about his heroic antics following an attack by bullies. "They herded him into a corner" he mumbled between swings of his croquet mallet, "little did they know they were playing right into his hands".....It appears Two Dicks was able to bore his assailants to tears by repeating the same points again and again until they were unable to listen further. He then made his escape.

When pressed over a time scale for the resolution, the Deputy PM was unsure "Tony has not indicated" he said, "that's not unusual for a van driver".... It was believed Tony was using a bus lane at the time of the Press Conference and so a written statement was his only contribution. It read: I have missed a few editions of Newsnight because of night shifts and I never comment on what I've not seen.

Two Dicks was set to be accompanied by Former US President Bill Clinton's daughter but remarkably, Chelsea refused to go. Two Dicks has recently been outspoken on a number of issues, including the antics of England's WAGs. When asked about her experience of Two Dicks, Footballer's Wife Bianca Headwell peered over her oversized shades and described a graphic encounter in an Essex nightclub toilet, this cannot be printed for legal reasons.

The Press was able to get a comment from Two Dick's girlfriend. When asked about Hezzbollah she said: "they are quite small but do the trick. I love him long time" when asked if her partner might experience the same fate as John McCarthy she added: he'd never play for Port Vale. Finally when pressed on Tony's experiences of Jakarta she showed reporters the Series 1 DVD of 24. The interview ended here.

Downing would not be pressed on the precise day of his trip for security reasons.
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"In life you can laugh at anything but not with just anyone" - Daniel Prevost

[Tonys Twostripes]

I liked that good work. Like the WVM stuff. Saving up to do me Class1 at the moment

Steve McClaren agrees with me about the WAGS though
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In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.”

[deeuu]

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529 Surrender Monkeys deserve Agent Orange
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